Born To WORSHIP

Dear Father, I worship You. I am so grateful for the way You love me. The way You come in and remind me so quickly that You are always so close to me. Closer than my skin. Today was one of those hard days where I felt discouraged with this whole divorce process dragging, I just felt hopeless like this nightmare would never end but as I lay here, I am reminded that all things are truly working for my good, I just have to believe that, even while being flooded with negative emotions. Dear Lord, You created me to feel so deeply and the Joy I feel in Your Presence worshipping You is indescribable. But I also have this deep capacity to feel pain that feels so heavy and sharp.

Thank You for reminding me of Elijah that him too got so tired of life and asked to die but You were quick to provide. You provide us with physical strength and spiritual strength when we feel like we can’t handle life’s storms anymore. Dear Daddy, it just feels like this saga will never stop. I long to be free from this darkness, it just feels like never ceasing torment. Lord, I know everything will work out for my good as Your Word says. Please help me to be patient, help me to wait on You and trust in You. My anxiety and my trauma symptoms make me feel like I am betraying my faith. Help me to give myself more compassion and know that I am still in the healing process. Thank You for manifesting Yourself to me in mighty ways to help me go through this season of the furnace. Without You where would I truly be? Dead or in prison right now. But Your amazing grace saved me; I didn’t even hurt my pinky finger. Psalm 34:19-20 “The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; He protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.”

Lord I would have never fully surrendered if I didn’t reach the end of me. It was then I truly saw You for the Loving God You are. Help me to remember that the suffering of this world is nothing compared to the glory of being in Your Presence experiencing everlasting joy forever.  Romans 8:18 “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”

Thank You for Your goodness and Your mercy that pursue me. Thank You that You didn’t allow me to have a child and have a miserable existence with darkness. Thank You for showing me that You are truly God and You have the whole world in Your hands. You got a firm grip on me. Dear Lord, I get these feelings sometimes that I will stray away from You and the thought of it scares me. Please keep reminding me that You are not going anywhere, and You are holding on to me. I am reminded of Your Word in John 10:27-28 27 “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me 28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.”

May I always have a heart of pure worship for You. Thank You for introducing me to real love, love so pure, love so beautiful, love so joyful, love so peaceful, love so perfect. Love that blows my mind. Love that is so perfect. Thank You for always loving me so perfectly. Thank You for the privilege of knowing You, my Jesus. Thank You for the opportunity to worship You.  I was born to worship, I long to worship You. It is so hard Dear Jesus to go on living like normal after experiencing Your Presence. An encounter with You changes everything. The way I see life will never be the same. I will never be the same. The way You use our brokenness to draw us to You could only be divine. Thank You for everything You’ve done for me, thank You for loving me so much. I love You with all my heart, I am so in love with You. Thank You for letting me know the power of prayer. Thank You for helping me to trust You more and more. Without You I would literally die. 

I found love that will never hurt me, love. that will never break my heart, a love that called me to just rest, a love that is truly unconditional. A love that gave His life for me when He didn’t have to. John 15:13 “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

I found grace that is indescribable. How do I go on working and living life like before Daddy? It is so excruciating; I can’t wait for You to come back and take me home. I am so homesick. My limited mind tries to picture heaven with You and I can’t even because there is so much pain and suffering in the world. But I believe Your Holy Word. Thank You for comforting me the way You always do, for always putting a smile on my face through the pain and tears. My whole life I was looking for love in all the wrong places and people and I learned that the world could never satisfy me. Only You satisfied my soul. The living water from which I will always drink from. My soul hungers and thirsts for You. You are more precious than gold. Thank You Jesus. Thank You for choosing me, forgiving me, justifying me. Jesus You alone are fully God, the one true God, the highest of highest, the Holy, Holy, Holy one. May I always have a heart of Worship dear Father. My Worship is for You alone, I will do everything to please You, not to earn Your love because You love me and You tell me I am a mountain, You look at me in love because I am Your child and I don’t have to do anything, people just stare in awe at mountains. Worshipping You is my essence of being.

Lord I long to be able to play the violin only to worship You. Words are not enough and will never be enough to describe my love and gratitude to You, my Savior. What You endured on that cross for me, just for me. Your love is so great. I am so sorry when I hurt Your heart and grief You Holy Spirit. Please forgive me Father. Thank You for casting my sin as far as the east is from the west. Psalm 103:12. Thank You for taking away my shame and guilt. Thank You that since knowing You I can just come to Your feet and lay down my burdens and know that You got me always. The peace in chaos, the joy in pain, the smiling though tears, could only come from You. I am forever safe and secure in Your arms. I found ultimate rest, the kind of rest the world and no one in it could ever provide. I was rebelling against You for so long yet Your merciful pursuit of my heart never gave up. Thank You for blessing me so much. Thank You for anointing my head with oil. Thank You that my cup runneth over.

You told the sun to rise and shine just for me to wake me up to show me Your marvelous Grace, You shut the mouths of lions for me! My miracle worker, my way maker, my promise keeper! You always remind me that You don’t have plans to harm me but to prosper me and give me a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11. Thank You for Your Holy Word Daddy. Thank You Holy Spirit for leading me through the Bible, thank You for speaking to me through the Bible. The Old Testament can be hard to read, and it is like a mirror to my sinful nature and my rebellion, it shows that sin is such an abomination to You, yet You always show Your mercy because You are so full of compassion. Psalms 145:8-9 “The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; Slow to anger, and of great mercy. The LORD is good to all: And his tender mercies are over all his works.” You are such a wonderful, merciful God. Thank You for reminding me that You are never mad or disappointed in me. When You look at me You are so in love with me because You see me in Christ as perfect and blameless adorned with Your Holy Righteousness. Colossians 1:22 “He has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him.” Thank You Daddybear.

You are so good, You are so mighty, so majestic. The God of the universe who humbled Himself by coming to earth, bore my pain, shame, sin and guilt to save me for eternity so I can have an intimate relationship with You. Dear Lord, please if I start to want to just do, do and do for You remind me that You don’t necessarily need that, that above all else You just want to be in communion with me. You want to make Yourself known to me. You know all of me, the only person who understands the language of my tears. I don’t have to pretend, I don’t have to use words, You see me, Like Hagar in the desert, You are the God who sees. You know all of me and yet You still call me precious, lovely, forgiven, chosen. Your love has forever transformed me, Your love is healing power, Your love is peace, Your love is tranquility of soul, Your love is perfection of being, Your love is magical, Your love is a miracle. You are my everything, You are more than enough for me. Times I feel lonely You are always there to remind me that I am not alone, and I don’t have to be lonely because You are always with me. I could never thank You enough. I feel so unworthy of Your love so many times, but You always remind me just how much You love me and how much You see me as worthy of Your love because I am Your daughter.

Thank You for moving mountains for me, for parting seas for me, for always being the 4th man in the fire with me. Thank You Jesus for always rescuing me, for always making my paths straight even when I miss my way which happens so often. Thank You for communicating with me through melody. Thank You for the gift of music. I long to make melodies and play melodies for You. When I think of being with You for eternity it makes my heart skip several beats. Nothing in this world matters anymore, everything and everyone pales in comparison to what I found in You. Few will understand but an encounter with you forever changes our hearts, our very being.

In Your presence is such fullness of joy. Psalm 16:11 “You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.” How You can make me feel like Your only child in the world is truly supernatural. I love You Father so much. Please keep humbling me, keep purifying me till all that is left is Your fire Dear Jesus. I desire to love You passionately for the rest of my days. Mourning may endure for the night, but joy truly comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5 You have a unique ability of making me just smile so big like a kid at random when I think of Your goodness and wonder. I stand in awe of Your love, of Your grace, of Your favor over my life. You chose lil ol me before the foundation of the world. “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.” Ephesians 1:4. You’ve been carrying me and looking over me since I was born. Your. I am still alive today only because of Your amazing grace. The reason I have breathe is truly to praise You. 

Glory be to God forever and always!!! Praise Jesus!!